We Stroudies are very proud of our town and its beautiful surroundings.
I wrote this funny poem about Stroud and what Her Majesty might find if she came here for a day trip.
IF THE QUEEN CAME TO STROUD
If The Queen, who is Head of our Nation
Came to Stroud for our landmarks to see
She would get off the train at Stroud Station
With a copy of ‘The Metro’ for free.
She could not take high-tea at The Imperial
As sadly its all boarded round
Instead she could go to The Warren
And have hot drink and cake for three pound!
Whilst in our brand new indoor market
For her tea buy some haddock or skate
She would learn about our local history
And join the 5th valley debate!
She could also pop into The Sub Rooms
Their new décor would be nice surprise
And for Christmas buy Philip a Stroud T-Shirt
And I’m guessing in medium size.
She could visit our great Farmer’s Market
Where the sights and the smells appetise
I’m sure she’d be pleased to sample some cheese
But first make her hands sanitized.
If she took a walk down the High Street
She’d see beggars wrapped in a mac
She would toss them a pound in her handbag she’s found
And say “That’s my face on the back!”
So what else does she have in her handbag
Maybe a brandy filled flask
A bottle of Tizer, some hand sanitizer
And a Royal blue crested facemask.
When she looks in the estate agent’s window
She would realise one thing is clear
The scenery is nice, but the property price
Even She can’t afford a house here!
She may even pop into Poundland
To pick up a bargain or two
But I don’t think she often goes shopping
Or stand in a social-distanced queue.
If she caught a bus up to Cashes
She’s be pretty dismayed I am sure
On the big roundabout she would see Tricorn House
And think “Bloody Hell!, What an eyesore!”
At the end she would go back to the station
To wait for the 6.15 train
And reflect on her one day vacation
“I like Stroud, I’ll come here again!
Please come and visit me in The Tower of London
From Clive White
Stroud
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