Neat rows threaten harmony on plot

1:26pm Tuesday 25th March 2008

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HUSBAND encourages me to visit the plot. "Come and see what I have done," he says. Now I'm sure he's not boasting. It was agreed when he took over one third of the allotment that this would not descend into a "my marrow is bigger than yours" sort of thing.

I have to admit that it all looks pretty good if you appreciate the neat approach. He actually has pieces of string marking out where his rows of cauliflower and beetroot are.

I turn my back on his straight lines and admire my garlic. Shoots have started to appear in a wiggly line. "Did you put those in with your eyes shut?" asks husband. Ignore him but make sure that my foot slips onto his plot, compacting his finely raked soil. Oops.

Confide in a friend later my worries that husband might prove himself to be better than I am at growing vegetables. She assures me that he has peaked too soon with his seeds "You should never plant seeds outside until the dandelions are up," she says. I defer to her superior knowledge but decide not to tell the husband. He needs to learn the hard way.

Just days away from Easter and the children are preparing to gorge themselves on the expected chocolate egg haul. The Easter weekend will consist of egg hunts, visits to relatives and the usual fight about me not being allowed to watch Ben Hur on the TV, again.

At this time of year I have one eye on April approaching because that is when birthday fever hits our house with both children inconveniently being born one week apart. Once again a ferret takes the number one spot on daughter's birthday wish list. Unfortunately for her, there is more chance of me planting in a straight line than there is of a ferret ever entering our house.