Hubbie plans a devious plot

1:54pm Thursday 6th March 2008

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THERE has been a coup on the allotment. Husband, who has threatened for years that he wants to get more involved, has finally had enough of being told where to dig and has appropriated one third of the plot as his own.

"Your methods are too haphazard for my liking," he tells me.

He declares that he will grow things that he loves like brussels and cabbages as well as onions for pickling.

Friend suggests that I ask him to grow parsnips, to bring him down a peg or two I suspect. My difficult relationship with this vegetable is well known and while I would love to pass the parsnip baton on I am not sure if I would ever hear the end of it if he succeeded first time around where I have failed for four years.

Let him have his brassicas and the ten thousand cabbage butterflies that accompany them.

My treat for Mother's Day this year was a morning on the allotment with the whole family.

Children prepared their plots and I set about digging in the most overtly haphazard and random way I could. Well it was Mother's Day - I would be haphazard if I wanted to.

The day began with the usual squealing children waking me up early in their excitement to tell me that this was my day and I did not have to wake up early.

Then it was four in a bed as I opened up a wonderful collection of homemade cards announcing, in my son's case, how much he loves me because I am "helpful and cook lots of lovely meals."

Daughter said it in rhyme: "I love you mum, I love you so much, please clean out the guinea pig hutch."

At least I know she cares.