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What's On

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Now showing at Cineworld Cheltenham The Brewery, Oxford Passage, off St Marg,Cheltenham,Gloucestershire GL50 4EF 0871 200 2000

  • Ant-Man 3D
  • Ant-Man: An IMAX 3D Experience
  • Home 3D
  • Inside Out
  • Inside Out 3D
  • Jurassic World
  • Maggie
  • Magic Mike XXL
  • Minions
  • Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
  • Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation: The IMAX Experience
  • Paddington
  • Southpaw
  • Ted 2
  • Terminator Genisys
  • The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water
  • Thomas & Friends: Sodor's Legend Of The Lost Treasure

Ant-Man 3D 4 stars

movie title

Cat burglar Scott Lang is released from San Quentin Penitentiary and resolves to go straight for the sake of his daughter. Inventor Dr Hank Pym invites Scott to don a superhero outfit, which shrinks the wearer at the touch of a button. Aided by Hank's feisty daughter, Scott masters the suit and learns to mind-control four species of ants. Humans and insects take on Hank's former protege, Darren Cross, who intends to sell the Ant-Man technology to the highest bidder.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Adventure, Romance, Science Fiction
  • CastBobby Cannavale, Evangeline Lilly, Judy Greer, Hayley Atwell, Michael Douglas, Paul Rudd.
  • DirectorPeyton Reed.
  • WriterJoe Cornish, Edgar Wright, Paul Rudd, Adam McKay.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration117 mins
  • Official sitewww.marvel.com/antman
  • Release17/07/2015

Although its ambitions are grander than the incredible shrinking hero of the title, the latest franchise in the cluttered Marvel Comic universe is refreshingly modest compared to the computer-generated bombast of The Avengers. The script, initially penned by Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish, and was then revised by Adam McKay and Paul Rudd when Peyton Reed replaced Wright in the director's chair, leans heavily on deadpan humour.

That changing of the filmmaking guard in 2014 hasn't negatively impacted on Ant-Man. Reed's boisterous action adventure is anchored by a winning lead performance from Rudd, who made his mark as Phoebe's boyfriend in the sitcom Friends. Here, the actor flexes his comic muscles as well as his abs and pecs, which are flaunted in an obligatory scene of toplessness to prove he hit the gym for the role.

When Rudd's unlikely hero is invited to become Ant-Man and save the world, his considered response is: "I think our first move should be calling The Avengers." Sensible.

Cat burglar Scott Lang (Rudd) is released from San Quentin Penitentiary and resolves to go straight for the sake of his daughter Cassie (Abby Ryder Fortson). He shares an apartment with former cellmate Luis (Michael Pena) but struggles to find gainful employment. Desperate to pay child support to his despairing ex-wife (Judy Greer), Scott agrees to one lucrative heist set up by Luis and two pals (David Dastmalchian, Tip "T.I." Harris).

Unfortunately, the robbery lands Scott in a police cell, under the glare of Maggie's new beau, Detective Paxton (Bobby Cannavale). Inventor Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) offers Scott a way out if he agrees to don a superhero outfit, which shrinks the wearer at the touch of a button.

Aided by Hank's feisty daughter (Evangeline Lilly), Scott masters the suit and learns to mind-control four species of ants. Humans and insects take on Hank's former protege, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), who has replicated the Ant-Man technology for his Yellowjacket suit, which he intends to sell to the highest bidder: Hydra.

Ant-Man mines a rich vein of humour to underscore the high-speed acrobatics. The 3D format is only noticeable when Scott activates the suit and seemingly benign household features, like a running tap, become life-or-death obstacles a la Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

Director Reed has great fun juxtaposing perspectives, especially in a showdown on a child's train set that is thrilling close-up, with carriages crashing off tracks, but laughably pedestrian when witnessed actual size.

Rudd invests his reformed do-gooder with charm and chutzpah, and Douglas and Lilly provide solid support as the feuding father-daughter dynamic destined for reconciliation. "This isn't some cute technology like the Iron Man suit," Hank tells Scott about his invention. Perhaps not, but this first salvo of Ant-Man is almost as entertaining.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Ant-Man: An IMAX 3D Experience 4 stars

movie title

Cat burglar Scott Lang is released from San Quentin Penitentiary and resolves to go straight for the sake of his daughter. Inventor Dr Hank Pym invites Scott to don a superhero outfit, which shrinks the wearer at the touch of a button. Aided by Hank's feisty daughter, Scott masters the suit and learns to mind-control four species of ants. Humans and insects take on Hank's former protege, Darren Cross, who intends to sell the Ant-Man technology to the highest bidder.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Adventure, Romance, Science Fiction
  • CastBobby Cannavale, Evangeline Lilly, Judy Greer, Hayley Atwell, Michael Douglas, Paul Rudd.
  • DirectorPeyton Reed.
  • WriterJoe Cornish, Edgar Wright, Paul Rudd, Adam McKay.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration117 mins
  • Official sitewww.marvel.com/antman
  • Release17/07/2015

Although its ambitions are grander than the incredible shrinking hero of the title, the latest franchise in the cluttered Marvel Comic universe is refreshingly modest compared to the computer-generated bombast of The Avengers. The script, initially penned by Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish, and was then revised by Adam McKay and Paul Rudd when Peyton Reed replaced Wright in the director's chair, leans heavily on deadpan humour.

That changing of the filmmaking guard in 2014 hasn't negatively impacted on Ant-Man. Reed's boisterous action adventure is anchored by a winning lead performance from Rudd, who made his mark as Phoebe's boyfriend in the sitcom Friends. Here, the actor flexes his comic muscles as well as his abs and pecs, which are flaunted in an obligatory scene of toplessness to prove he hit the gym for the role.

When Rudd's unlikely hero is invited to become Ant-Man and save the world, his considered response is: "I think our first move should be calling The Avengers." Sensible.

Cat burglar Scott Lang (Rudd) is released from San Quentin Penitentiary and resolves to go straight for the sake of his daughter Cassie (Abby Ryder Fortson). He shares an apartment with former cellmate Luis (Michael Pena) but struggles to find gainful employment. Desperate to pay child support to his despairing ex-wife (Judy Greer), Scott agrees to one lucrative heist set up by Luis and two pals (David Dastmalchian, Tip "T.I." Harris).

Unfortunately, the robbery lands Scott in a police cell, under the glare of Maggie's new beau, Detective Paxton (Bobby Cannavale). Inventor Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) offers Scott a way out if he agrees to don a superhero outfit, which shrinks the wearer at the touch of a button.

Aided by Hank's feisty daughter (Evangeline Lilly), Scott masters the suit and learns to mind-control four species of ants. Humans and insects take on Hank's former protege, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), who has replicated the Ant-Man technology for his Yellowjacket suit, which he intends to sell to the highest bidder: Hydra.

Ant-Man mines a rich vein of humour to underscore the high-speed acrobatics. The 3D format is only noticeable when Scott activates the suit and seemingly benign household features, like a running tap, become life-or-death obstacles a la Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

Director Reed has great fun juxtaposing perspectives, especially in a showdown on a child's train set that is thrilling close-up, with carriages crashing off tracks, but laughably pedestrian when witnessed actual size.

Rudd invests his reformed do-gooder with charm and chutzpah, and Douglas and Lilly provide solid support as the feuding father-daughter dynamic destined for reconciliation. "This isn't some cute technology like the Iron Man suit," Hank tells Scott about his invention. Perhaps not, but this first salvo of Ant-Man is almost as entertaining.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 29th July 2015

Home 3D 3 stars

movie title

An extra-terrestrial race called the Boov invades Earth under the command of Captain Smek with a view to claiming the third rock from the sun as their new home. The Boov round up the humans and relocates the entire species. A resourceful teenage girl called Tip, whose mother was abducted, evades capture and goes on the run. She crosses paths with an outcast Boov named Oh, who has been banished by his otherworldly kin. They join forces to save Earth.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Animation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family, Fantasy, Science Fiction
  • CastJim Parsons, Rihanna, Steve Martin, Jennifer Lopez, Matt Jones.
  • DirectorTim Johnson.
  • WriterTom J Astle, Matt Ember.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration94 mins
  • Official sitewww.meettheboov.com
  • Release20/03/2015

Humans and cute aliens unite to save Earth in Tim Johnson's entertaining but shamelessly contrived computer-animated adventure. The new dog performing old tricks on the DreamWorks block, which previously housed Madagascar, Kung Fu Panda and How To Train Your Dragon, lacks the belly laughs and heart-breaking emotion of those films, but merrily rehashes elements from all three.

Thus the extra-terrestrial invaders discover they like to wave their hands in the air like they just don't care to our music and the central duo discovers that self-sacrifice is an important part of friendship.

Johnson's film has some solid gags and the colour palette is bright, although there are disappointingly few visual tricks up the animators' sleeves to justify the increased ticket price for the 3D version.

In a neat piece of short-hand, the invaders turn out to be the extra-terrestrial equivalent of mood rings, changing colour to reflect their emotional state: yellow for fear, pink for love, red for anger, blue for sadness and green for dishonesty. It's a merchandiser's dream and every parent's nightmare: children begging for the same stuffed toy in multiple shades.

An extra-terrestrial race called the Boov invades Earth under the command of power-hungry Captain Smek (voiced by Steve Martin) with a view to claiming the third rock from the sun as their new home.

The Boov round up the humans and relocate the entire species to Australia. Back in America, a resourceful 11-year-old girl called Tip (Rihanna), whose mother (Jennifer Lopez) was abducted from their apartment, evades capture and goes on the run with her rotund pet cat.

She encounters a fugitive Boov named Oh (Jim Parsons), who has accidentally sent an email invitation to his "warming of house party" to everyone in the galaxy, including the Boov's sworn enemy, the Gorg. Tip and Oh are poles apart: she is spunky and brave, while he turns tail at the first sign of peril.

"If probability falls below 50%, the Boov give up," explains Oh. Working together, they forge a touching friendship and Tip helps her extra-terrestrial chum to embrace his flaws.

Based on the children's book The True Meaning Of Smekday by Adam Rex, Home ticks all of the boxes, but does so without any obvious verve, originality or sense of urgency. Parsons riffs on his nerdy character in The Big Bang Theory, while Rihanna lends her distinctive Barbadian tones to the plucky, pint-sized heroine.

She also has two songs on the soundtrack including the dance anthem Only Girl (In The World), which provides moments of unnecessary distraction as Tip talks over the top of the music.

At one point during the chase, Oh turns to Tip and screams, "This is not a sustainable friendship model." Johnson makes it work for 94 minutes, but only just.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

Inside Out 5 stars

From the moment baby Riley opens her eyes, her mood is shaped by five coloured emotions - Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust - which bicker behind a large control desk laden with buttons and levers. Joy is the dominant emotion in Headquarters and she safeguards Riley's memories, which are stored as glowing orbs. When Riley turns 11, her parents relocate from Minnesota to San Francisco. Traumatic events such as a first day at a new school nudge Sadness to the fore.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastDiane Lane, Amy Poehler, Kyle MacLachlan, Bill Hader, Phyllis Smith, Lewis Black, Mindy Kaling.
  • DirectorPete Docter, Ronaldo Del Carmen.
  • WriterPete Docter, Meg LeFauve, Josh Cooley.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration102 mins
  • Official sitewww.movies.disney.com/inside-out
  • Release24/07/2015

Despite gargantuan advances in medical science, we still don't fully understand the complexities of the human brain: its ability to process vast quantities of information, solve problems and store memories at speeds that put supercomputers to shame.

Pixar Animation Studios, the wizards who conjured the Toy Story trilogy, contemplate the vagaries of neuropsychology with this visually stunning and emotionally rich comedy, which unfolds predominantly inside the head of a little girl.

This high-brow concept doesn't seem like the most accessible subject matter for a family-oriented computer animation. But directors Pete Docter and Ronaldo Del Carmen elegantly tilt their film at the windmills of the mind and deliver a hilarious, heartfelt and ultimately life-affirming adventure that celebrates childhood innocence, family unity and the power of the human spirit to overcome adversity.

Laughter and tears abound, as well as cute visual gags, ensuring parents will be repeatedly dabbing their eyes while children whoop and gurgle with glee at the slapstick and rollicking action sequences.

A mother (voiced by Diane Lane) and father (Kyle MacLachlan) welcome a baby girl called Riley (Kaitlyn Dias) into the world. From the moment she opens her eyes, Riley's mood is shaped by five coloured emotions - golden Joy (Amy Poehler), blue Sadness (Phyllis Smith), purple Fear (Bill Hader), red Anger (Lewis Black) and green Disgust (Mindy Kaling) - which bicker behind a large control desk laden with buttons and levers.

Joy is the dominant emotion in Headquarters and she safeguards Riley's memories, which are stored as glowing orbs, tinged with the colour of the emotion that prevailed at the time. When Riley turns 11, her parents relocate from Minnesota to San Francisco.

Traumatic events such as a first day at a new school nudge Sadness to the fore. Following an altercation, sworn rivals Joy and Sadness are expelled from Headquarters and find themselves stranded in the labyrinth of Riley's long-term memories.

Aided by Riley's imaginary friend Bing Bong (Richard Kind), Joy and Sadness blaze a haphazard trail on the chugging train of thought back to Fear, Anger and Disgust, who have been left in charge of Headquarters, with disastrous consequences.

Inside Out is Pixar's best film since the holy animated trilogy of WALL-E, Up and Toy Story 3. Docter's script, co-written by Meg LeFauve and Josh Cooley, glisters with imagination, wit and invention, delivering guffaws with detours into the heads of Riley's parents as they attempt to deal with her pre-teenage rebellion.

Vocal performances are note perfect, led by Poehler's exuberant portrayal of Joy and Smith's sincere embodiment of Sadness, who tugs heartstrings as the film reaches its exquisite conclusion.

The film is preceded by a short: a musical love story entitled Lava between two volcanoes called Uku and Lele, directed by James Ford Murphy. Joy and Sadness shared blissful control of my mind throughout.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Inside Out 3D 5 stars

From the moment baby Riley opens her eyes, her mood is shaped by five coloured emotions - Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust - which bicker behind a large control desk laden with buttons and levers. Joy is the dominant emotion in Headquarters and she safeguards Riley's memories, which are stored as glowing orbs. When Riley turns 11, her parents relocate from Minnesota to San Francisco. Traumatic events such as a first day at a new school nudge Sadness to the fore.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastKyle MacLachlan, Diane Lane, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader, Phyllis Smith, Lewis Black, Mindy Kaling.
  • DirectorPete Docter, Ronaldo Del Carmen.
  • WriterMeg LeFauve, Pete Docter, Josh Cooley.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration102 mins
  • Official sitewww.movies.disney.com/inside-out
  • Release24/07/2015

Despite gargantuan advances in medical science, we still don't fully understand the complexities of the human brain: its ability to process vast quantities of information, solve problems and store memories at speeds that put supercomputers to shame.

Pixar Animation Studios, the wizards who conjured the Toy Story trilogy, contemplate the vagaries of neuropsychology with this visually stunning and emotionally rich comedy, which unfolds predominantly inside the head of a little girl.

This high-brow concept doesn't seem like the most accessible subject matter for a family-oriented computer animation. But directors Pete Docter and Ronaldo Del Carmen elegantly tilt their film at the windmills of the mind and deliver a hilarious, heartfelt and ultimately life-affirming adventure that celebrates childhood innocence, family unity and the power of the human spirit to overcome adversity.

Laughter and tears abound, as well as cute visual gags, ensuring parents will be repeatedly dabbing their eyes while children whoop and gurgle with glee at the slapstick and rollicking action sequences.

A mother (voiced by Diane Lane) and father (Kyle MacLachlan) welcome a baby girl called Riley (Kaitlyn Dias) into the world. From the moment she opens her eyes, Riley's mood is shaped by five coloured emotions - golden Joy (Amy Poehler), blue Sadness (Phyllis Smith), purple Fear (Bill Hader), red Anger (Lewis Black) and green Disgust (Mindy Kaling) - which bicker behind a large control desk laden with buttons and levers.

Joy is the dominant emotion in Headquarters and she safeguards Riley's memories, which are stored as glowing orbs, tinged with the colour of the emotion that prevailed at the time. When Riley turns 11, her parents relocate from Minnesota to San Francisco.

Traumatic events such as a first day at a new school nudge Sadness to the fore. Following an altercation, sworn rivals Joy and Sadness are expelled from Headquarters and find themselves stranded in the labyrinth of Riley's long-term memories.

Aided by Riley's imaginary friend Bing Bong (Richard Kind), Joy and Sadness blaze a haphazard trail on the chugging train of thought back to Fear, Anger and Disgust, who have been left in charge of Headquarters, with disastrous consequences.

Inside Out is Pixar's best film since the holy animated trilogy of WALL-E, Up and Toy Story 3. Docter's script, co-written by Meg LeFauve and Josh Cooley, glisters with imagination, wit and invention, delivering guffaws with detours into the heads of Riley's parents as they attempt to deal with her pre-teenage rebellion.

Vocal performances are note perfect, led by Poehler's exuberant portrayal of Joy and Smith's sincere embodiment of Sadness, who tugs heartstrings as the film reaches its exquisite conclusion.

The film is preceded by a short: a musical love story entitled Lava between two volcanoes called Uku and Lele, directed by James Ford Murphy. Joy and Sadness shared blissful control of my mind throughout.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Jurassic World 4 stars

movie title

The Jurassic World theme park is open on Isla Nublar under the control of Operations Manager Claire Dearing. The park's scientists play God by performing genetic modification experiments to breed a new dinosaur: the Indominus Rex. When this hulking beast escapes confinement and goes on the rampage in a park crowded with terrified tourists, animal wrangler Owen Grady races to the rescue.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Family, Science Fiction, Thriller
  • CastJudy Greer, Chris Pratt, Ty Simpkins, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Nick Robinson.
  • DirectorColin Trevorrow.
  • WriterRick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Colin Trevorrow, Derek Connolly.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration124 mins
  • Official sitewww.jurassicworld.com
  • Release11/06/2015

In the original Jurassic Park, scientists reanimate dinosaurs on a tropical island and quickly discover their arrogant folly. "Life breaks free. It expands to new territories and crashes through barriers," wisely observes Jeff Goldblum's doom-mongering chaos mathematician. His words reverberate throughout this fourth instalment of the blockbusting dino-franchise.

Director Colin Trevorrow and three co-writers step back in time, using the structure and heightened human drama of the first film as a solid template for this return to Isla Nublar. Jurassic World begs, borrows and affectionately steals from the 1993 box office behemoth, including a cameo for the Mr DNA animation and a set piece in the iconic visitor centre (now overgrown).

Two stricken children are a focal point when the park goes into meltdown, and mission control boasts a nerdy computer wizard (Jake Johnson) for mild comic relief. If the nuts and bolts of the screenplay are unabashedly retro, the special effects are undeniably state-of-the-art, realising creatures great and small, which chomp through countless extras and the main cast.

This is by far the bloodiest chapter of the Jurassic saga, if not quite the best. Jurassic World opened to the public in 2005 and now welcomes more than 20,000 visitors a day. Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) oversees park operations, while Dr Henry Wu (BD Wong) plays God in the laboratories, splicing DNA strands to create terrifying new breeds.

"Consumers want them bigger, louder, more teeth," Claire tells a group of investors. Thus the ferocious and highly intelligent Indominus Rex is born. "This will give the parents nightmares," shudders park CEO Simon Masrani (Irrfan Khan), who took up the mantle from John Hammond to open an isle of prehistoric wonders.

When the Indominus Rex escapes her paddock, Claire begs naval officer-turned-animal behaviour specialist Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) for help. He has been working on the island with Vic Hoskins (Vincent D'Onofrio), head of InGen Security, on a top-secret project involving four captive velociraptors.

Claire is distraught because her nephews, Zach (Nick Robinson) and Gray (Ty Simpkins), are trapped in the middle of the bloodbath. She implores Owen to rescue the boys, tracking them by footprints and scent. "I was in the Navy, not the Navajo," he reminds her.

Jurassic World is a muscular, rollicking romp that captures some of the adrenaline-pumping thrills and jaw-dropping awe we felt more than 20 years ago when Steven Spielberg first unleashed dinosaurs back into multiplexes.

Pratt is an instantly likable hero and he catalyses a simmering screen chemistry with Howard as the workaholic who faces the dino-pocalypse in highly inappropriate footwear. D'Onofrio glowers as one of the film's boo-hiss villains, who views the creatures as expendable assets. "We own them. Extinct animals have no rights," he snarls.

Action sequences are orchestrated at a lick, seamlessly integrating digital trickery with live action including chaotic scenes of a flock of pteranodons plucking visitors from the ground. "Remember: something chases you, run!" advises Zach and Gray's mom at the beginning of the film. Wise words.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Maggie 3 stars

movie title

Widower Wade Vogel spends two weeks searching for missing daughter Maggie in cities overrun by the Necroambulist virus. Wade eventually tracks her down at a hospital, where she has been admitted with a bite from the infected. Wade spirits Maggie home to the family ranch to enjoy what little time they have left before the virus takes hold and Sheriff Ray and his deputy Holt oversee her transfer into quarantine.

  • GenreDrama, Horror, Thriller
  • CastArnold Schwarzenegger, Abigail Breslin, Joely Richardson.
  • DirectorHenry Hobson.
  • WriterJohn Scott III.
  • CountryUS/Switz
  • Duration95 mins
  • Official sitewww.maggiethefilm.com
  • Release24/07/2015 (selected cinemas)

Ever since director Victor Halperin reanimated the dearly departed in the 1932 thriller White Zombie, the shuffling undead have become a staple of the horror genre. George A Romero popularised zombies as voracious, flesh-hungry predators in his 1968 cult classic Night Of The Living Dead, inspiring numerous sequels, remakes and gore-slathered imitators.

Maggie unfolds in a bleak, colour-bleached future ravaged by a deadly contagion, which takes six to eight weeks from infection to transform a healthy human host into a monstrous husk, capable of spreading the virus with a single bite.

There are explosions of bloody violence in Henry Hobson's post-apocalyptic thriller, and one wince-inducing moment with a kitchen knife, but the writer-director chooses to focus on the emotional devastation wrought by such an outbreak rather than the frenzied battle for survival.

By refracting a global disaster through the eyes of one beleaguered family, the director and screenwriter John Scott III create moments of pathos and heartbreak that will be familiar to fans of the TV series The Walking Dead. To reflect the misery of his characters, Hobson chooses an earthy colour palette of browns, greys, greens and cold blues, occasionally lit by the searing orange of the sun.

His hero is widower Wade Vogel (Arnold Schwarzenegger), who spends two weeks searching for missing daughter Maggie (Abigail Breslin) in cities overrun by the Necroambulist virus. Wade eventually tracks her down at a hospital, where she has been admitted with a bite from the infected.

"She's going to show more signs of aggression," explains a medic. "She's going to lose her appetite then get it back again." Wade spirits Maggie home to the family ranch to enjoy what little time they have left before the virus takes hold and Sheriff Ray (Douglas M Griffin) and his deputy Holt (JD Evermore) oversee her transfer into quarantine.

Maggie's step-siblings Bobby (Aiden Flowers) and Molly (Carsen Flowers) are sent to live with an aunt, but her stepmother Caroline (Joel Richardson) remains.

Days pass and Maggie reunites with local kids around a bonfire, reminiscing with best friend Allie (Raeden Greer) and sharing a final kiss with a boy named Trent (Bryce Romero), who is also infected. As the girl's predatory instincts take hold, Caroline urges Wade to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Maggie is blessed with one of Schwarzenegger's best performances, courtesy of a script that is lean on dialogue and heavy on close-ups. The Austrian oak is solid and Breslin wrings out tears as a young woman who realises the threat she poses with each pulse of infected blood in her veins.

By reducing the gore to a minimum, Hobson starves his film of intense visceral thrills, but dramatic momentum remains slow and steady, like the relentless shuffle of the undead in search of prey.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Magic Mike XXL 2 stars

movie title

Mike and his fellow dancers Ken, Richie, Tarzan and Tito have been at the top of their pelvis-thrusting game for too long and the end is nigh for the Kings of Tampa. The gang decides to bow out in style with a final performance in Myrtle Beach. En route to this emotional farewell, the men make a detour to Savannah to visit Mike's old stomping ground: the Domina private club run by sassy businesswoman Rome.

  • GenreComedy, Drama, Romance
  • CastElizabeth Banks, Channing Tatum, Amber Heard, Kevin Nash, Joe Manganiello, Adam Rodriguez, Jada Pinkett Smith, Matt Bomer.
  • DirectorGregory Jacobs.
  • WriterReid Carolin.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration115 mins
  • Official sitewww.magicmikemovie.com
  • Release03/07/2015

Size matters to Magic Mike XXL. Apart from the tease in the title of this pelvis-thrusting sequel, Gregory Jacobs' third feature is longer and showier than the original. The film dutifully thrusts its crotch towards the target demographics, intentionally showing paying women customers of every age, ethnicity and shape enjoying the raunchy dance solos, and shoehorning a superfluous scene in a gay club that enforces limp-wristed stereotypes.

Unfortunately, the breathlessly staged performances are forced to bump 'n' grind against a script that is flimsier than a moth-eaten G-string. The narrative lacks pace and purpose, most of the characters are limited to one scene of personal development, and a central romance between Channing Tatum and on-screen love interest Amber Heard remains unappealingly limp.

Tatum is the film's strongest asset and his athleticism and agility are repeatedly tested by choreographer Alison Faulk. Pulses quicken when the dancers have their clothes on, gyrating suggestively against whooping clientele.

As soon as the trousers come down and shiny posing pouches succumb to gravity, the electrical charge dissipates. This might be the first film about "male entertainers" where the audience rowdily cheers "put 'em back on!"

It's been three years since Mike Lane (Tatum) turned his back on stripping to pursue his dream of running a custom furniture business. Times are tough: his girlfriend has left him, he's struggling to pay his one employee, and when his signature song - Ginuwine's "Pony" - blasts from the radio in his workshop, he can't resist a feverish grind against the nearest workstation.

Consequently, Mike reunites with fellow dancers Ken (Matt Bomer), Richie (Joe Manganiello), Tito (Adam Rodriguez) and Tarzan (Kevin Nash) for one final pelvis-thrusting hurrah as the Kings of Tampa at a strippers' convention in Myrtle Beach.

En route, the team's MC Tobias (Gabriel Iglesias) is waylaid in hospital, Richie finds a potential soulmate in an uninhibited Southern belle (Andie MacDowell), and the men learn new tricks from smooth operators Andre (Donald Glover), Malik (Stephen 'tWitch' Boss) and Augustus (Michael Strahan) at a private club called Domina run by sassy businesswoman Rome (Jada Pinkett Smith).

Aside from the protracted sequence at Domina that turns up the temperature several degrees, Magic Mike XXL is dull and disjointed. The road trip narrative is a creaky support for the poorly conceived vignettes in Reid Carolin's script, which conveniently forgets about Mike's faltering business, his customers and one employee as soon as he boards the van to Myrtle Beach.

Rome's affirmative message that all women deserved to be worshipped as "queens" by their men might ring true if the women in the film weren't dragged, pushed and spun around the floor like supermops by the dancers. It's one way to do the housework, I suppose.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 29th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Minions 3 stars

movie title

Since the dawn of time, the Minions have gravitated towards the most despicable master they can find. One Minion named Kevin embarks on an epic quest to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Flanked by teenage rebel Stuart and diminutive scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' current home in Antarctica bound for 1968 New York City, where he stumbles upon the world's first female super-villain: Scarlet Overkill.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastChris Renaud, Sandra Bullock, Pierre Coffin, Steve Coogan, Allison Janney, Michael Keaton, Katy Mixon, Jon Hamm.
  • DirectorPierre Coffin, Kyle Balda.
  • WriterBrian Lynch.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration91 mins
  • Official sitewww.minionnation.co.uk
  • Release26/06/2015

You can have too much of a good thing. In small doses, Despicable Me's goggle-eyed hench-creatures are a deranged delight. As unwittingly heroes of their own big screen adventure, these pint-sized "knights in shining denim" lose some of their loopy lustre, hindered by Brian Lynch's flimsy script, which is disappointingly light on storyline and belly laughs.

A dazzling vocal cast of gifted comic actors is repeatedly short-changed. Very young children, who gurgle with glee at the Minions' bonkers vernacular combining Esperanto and gobbledygook, will adore the slapstick, pratfalls and the tiniest member of the Minions clan, Bob, who clutches a well-loved teddy bear called Tim.

Adults will be considerably harder to win over. The lack of a coherent storyline grates as much as the lazy cultural stereotyping of the British as tea-sipping, corgi-riding folk, who frequent pubs called The Pig's Spleen.

Since the dawn of time, Minions have gravitated towards despicable masters including Tyrannosaurus Rex, Count Dracula and Napoleon. Unfortunately, these masters die prematurely - at the hands of the clumsy, yellow hench-creatures - leaving the Minions in a state of deep depression.

One brave soul named Kevin steps forth to find an evil boss for his bald, jaundiced brethren. Flanked by Stuart and scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' ice cave retreat bound for 1968 New York City. Cue a President Richard Nixon billboard proclaiming "Finally: a name you can trust". Could the Minions have stumbled upon their arch-villain?

No. The plucky trio learns about a gathering of criminals in Orlando and hitches a ride to the convention with a bank-robbing family led by Walter Nelson (voiced by Michael Keaton) and wife Madge (Allison Janney).

Their daughter Tina (Katy Mixon) points the Minions in the direction of bouffant super-villain Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). "If I was a minion, that's who I'd want to work for," she swoons. Thus the trio pledges allegiance to Scarlet and her inventor husband Herb (Jon Hamm), who are plotting to steal the Crown Jewels from Queen Elizabeth II (Jennifer Saunders).

While the soundtrack swings its flares to The Kinks and The Who, Kevin, Stuart and Bob careen around London armed with Herb's nifty gadgets: a robo-suit, lava lamp gun and hypno-hat.

Minions has a sprinkling of giggles and doesn't outstay its welcome but there's an unshakable feeling that Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda's film falls short. The groovy time period should be a velvet goldmine of visual gags but the best the film can muster is a nod to The Beatles and a faked moon landing.

The 3D version doesn't exploit the eye-popping format so parents with tykes in tow should save their money for the inevitable raid on the concessions stand. Animation is colourful and pristine, opting for shiny surfaces and sharp angles that reduce the need for meticulous detail and realism. Despicable? Meh.

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Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

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Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation 4 stars

The Impossible Missions Force (IMF) led by agent Ethan Hunt has taken down some of the most deadly criminal networks in the world using guile and state-of-the-art technology. Now the hunters become the hunted. A shadowy band of assassins known as the Syndicate targets IMF for extinction. Hunt reunites with colleagues William Brandt, Benji Dunn and computer hacker Luther Stickell to expose the Syndicate and bring down the organisation using every weapon and turbo-charged vehicle at their disposal.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Adventure, Thriller
  • CastJeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Sean Harris, Alec Baldwin, Rebecca Ferguson.
  • DirectorChristopher McQuarrie.
  • WriterChristopher McQuarrie.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration131 mins
  • Official sitewww.missionimpossible.com
  • Release30/07/2015

Call it testosterone-fuelled recklessness, hubris or feeling the need... the need for speed, Tom Cruise certainly puts on a show in the fifth instalment of the Mission: Impossible franchise. He clings to the side of an airplane as it takes flight, slaloms at dizzying speed on a motorcycle and performs death-defying leaps as secret agent Ethan Hunt. The 53-year-old star performs most of these hair-raising stunts himself, allowing writer-director Christopher McQuarrie to capture every pulse-quickening second in thrilling close-up with minimum digital trickery. Cruise's commitment to his role puts fellow action stars to shame - unlike the films of Stallone and Schwarzenegger, the script is devoid of wry one-liners to poke fun at his advancing years. McQuarrie, Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Usual Suspects, bookmarks slam-bang action sequences with intentionally ambiguous exchanges between rival operatives, who acknowledge the futility of their efforts as pawns in the spy game. Their inevitable deaths will go unnoticed and fresh-faced young agents will step forward, continuing the brutal tug-of-war between political idealism and global terrorism. The film opens with the Impossible Missions Force (IMF) hijacking a shipment of nerve gas from Chechen separatists. Soon after, CIA Director Alan Hunley (Alec Baldwin) succeeds in shutting down IMF for a total disregard for protocol, which led to the destruction of the Kremlin in the previous film. The hunters become the hunted when a shadowy organisation known as the Syndicate, fronted by Solomon Lane (Sean Harris), targets IMF for extinction. Hunt covertly reunites with colleagues William Brandt (Jeremy Renner), Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and computer hacker Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames) to bring down The Syndicate using every gadget, disguise and turbo-charged vehicle at their disposal. The operation brings Hunt into close contact with undercover MI6 agent Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) and her slippery handler (Simon McBurney), a sadistic henchman known as the Bone Doctor (Jens Hulten) and the unsuspecting British Prime Minister (Tom Hollander). "This may very well be our last mission," Brandt tells Hunt. "Make it count." Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is slickly bolted together by McQuarrie and editor Eddie Hamilton (Kick-Ass, Kingsman: The Secret Service). Turbo-charged scenes of carnage are punctuated by IMF's existential crisis in a world that regards their methods as "outdated". Cruise somersaults, punches and tumbles through every frame without breaking sweat, while Pegg, who was pigeon-holed as comic relief in the previous instalment, steps up in a pivotal supporting role. Ferguson's ice maiden doesn't thaw sufficiently under Cruise's smouldering gaze to kindle on-screen chemistry but her femme fatale snaps several limbs and necks in impressive hand-to-hand combat sequences. Humour is used sparingly to diffuse tension, leaving us hungry for another explosion of IMF antics to the pulsating rhythm of Lalo Schifrin's iconic theme. On this evidence, Mission: Impossible and its gung-ho leading man won't be self-destructing any time soon.

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Thursday 30th July 2015

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Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation: The IMAX Experience 4 stars

The Impossible Missions Force (IMF) led by agent Ethan Hunt has taken down some of the most deadly criminal networks in the world using guile and state-of-the-art technology. Now the hunters become the hunted. A shadowy band of assassins known as the Syndicate targets IMF for extinction. Hunt reunites with colleagues William Brandt, Benji Dunn and computer hacker Luther Stickell to expose the Syndicate and bring down the organisation using every weapon and turbo-charged vehicle at their disposal.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Adventure, Thriller
  • CastTom Cruise, Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner, Rebecca Ferguson, Ving Rhames, Alec Baldwin, Sean Harris.
  • DirectorChristopher McQuarrie.
  • WriterChristopher McQuarrie.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration131 mins
  • Official sitewww.missionimpossible.com
  • Release30/07/2015

Call it testosterone-fuelled recklessness, hubris or feeling the need... the need for speed, Tom Cruise certainly puts on a show in the fifth instalment of the Mission: Impossible franchise. He clings to the side of an airplane as it takes flight, slaloms at dizzying speed on a motorcycle and performs death-defying leaps as secret agent Ethan Hunt. The 53-year-old star performs most of these hair-raising stunts himself, allowing writer-director Christopher McQuarrie to capture every pulse-quickening second in thrilling close-up with minimum digital trickery. Cruise's commitment to his role puts fellow action stars to shame - unlike the films of Stallone and Schwarzenegger, the script is devoid of wry one-liners to poke fun at his advancing years. McQuarrie, Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Usual Suspects, bookmarks slam-bang action sequences with intentionally ambiguous exchanges between rival operatives, who acknowledge the futility of their efforts as pawns in the spy game. Their inevitable deaths will go unnoticed and fresh-faced young agents will step forward, continuing the brutal tug-of-war between political idealism and global terrorism. The film opens with the Impossible Missions Force (IMF) hijacking a shipment of nerve gas from Chechen separatists. Soon after, CIA Director Alan Hunley (Alec Baldwin) succeeds in shutting down IMF for a total disregard for protocol, which led to the destruction of the Kremlin in the previous film. The hunters become the hunted when a shadowy organisation known as the Syndicate, fronted by Solomon Lane (Sean Harris), targets IMF for extinction. Hunt covertly reunites with colleagues William Brandt (Jeremy Renner), Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and computer hacker Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames) to bring down The Syndicate using every gadget, disguise and turbo-charged vehicle at their disposal. The operation brings Hunt into close contact with undercover MI6 agent Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) and her slippery handler (Simon McBurney), a sadistic henchman known as the Bone Doctor (Jens Hulten) and the unsuspecting British Prime Minister (Tom Hollander). "This may very well be our last mission," Brandt tells Hunt. "Make it count." Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is slickly bolted together by McQuarrie and editor Eddie Hamilton (Kick-Ass, Kingsman: The Secret Service). Turbo-charged scenes of carnage are punctuated by IMF's existential crisis in a world that regards their methods as "outdated". Cruise somersaults, punches and tumbles through every frame without breaking sweat, while Pegg, who was pigeon-holed as comic relief in the previous instalment, steps up in a pivotal supporting role. Ferguson's ice maiden doesn't thaw sufficiently under Cruise's smouldering gaze to kindle on-screen chemistry but her femme fatale snaps several limbs and necks in impressive hand-to-hand combat sequences. Humour is used sparingly to diffuse tension, leaving us hungry for another explosion of IMF antics to the pulsating rhythm of Lalo Schifrin's iconic theme. On this evidence, Mission: Impossible and its gung-ho leading man won't be self-destructing any time soon.

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Thursday 30th July 2015

Paddington 4 stars

movie title

A young Peruvian bear with a passion for the British heads to London in search of a new home. At Paddington train station, he meets a boy called Jonathan Brown and his parents, who offer the lovable creature, christened Paddington, a temporary haven. At large in a strange city, Paddington wreaks havoc in the Brown household. Then an evil museum taxidermist named Millicent glimpses the wondrous bear and realises that he would make the most perfect addition to her collection.

  • GenreAdaptation, Comedy, Drama, Family, Family
  • CastHugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Julie Walters, Michael Gambon, Ben Whishaw, Nicole Kidman, Imelda Staunton.
  • DirectorPaul King.
  • WriterPaul King.
  • CountryUK/Fr
  • Duration95 mins
  • Official sitewww.paddington.com
  • Release28/11/2014

More than 50 years after he first appeared in print, author Michael Bond's beloved bear Paddington has finally arrived on the big screen in his first star-packed family adventure. Upcoming director Paul King's film lovingly weaves the traditional tenets of the duffel-coat wearing bear's story into a modern narrative.

Like the books, the film starts in deepest, darkest Peru, where a well-mannered three-foot bear (voiced by Ben Whishaw) lives with his elderly Aunt Lucy (Imelda Staunton) and Uncle Pastuzo (Michael Gambon). In their youth, Lucy and Pastuzo were visited by a kindly English explorer who left his red hat with his furry friends.

When their home is threatened, Aunt Lucy packs her nephew off to the safety of London to track down the explorer, who has promised that there will always be a home for them in the capital.

Of course, after sailing the oceans in a boat filled with supplies of his treasured marmalade, the bear finds London isn't actually that friendly. In fact it's pretty miserable what with the drizzly weather and glum commuters pushing and shoving their way out of Paddington station and ignoring his pleas for a home.

"Sorry, we haven't got time for this," cries worrywart Mr Brown (Hugh Bonneville), while his moody daughter Judy (Madeleine Harris) exclaims she's "embarrassed" to be near the small grisly, who has a 'Please look after this bear' sign around his neck.

Luckily, warm-hearted Mrs Brown (Sally Hawkins) and son Jonathan (Samuel Joslin) vow to take the furry chap home for the night. Naming him Paddington after the station where they found him, the Browns introduce their guest to kindly housekeeper Mrs Bird (Julie Walters).

But disaster soon strikes when Paddington tries to freshen up in the bathroom, resulting in a flood, two earwax-stained toothbrushes and a sharp telling off. Determined to find the explorer, Mrs Brown takes Paddington to see her friend Mr Gruber (Jim Broadbent), an antiques dealer who might have clues to his existence.

In doing so, they attract the attention of cranky curtain twitcher Mr Curry (Peter Capaldi) and a slimy associate of villainous taxidermist Millicent (Nicole Kidman) who is hell-bent on "stuffing that bear". With Millicent determined to get her mitts on Paddington to display him in the Natural History Museum, the Browns find themselves on a humdinger of a cat and mouse chase to try and keep their furry friend safe.

As comforting and sweet as Paddington's beloved marmalade, King's delightful adaptation has heaps of heart and enough humour and carefully plotted cameos to ensure everyone more than grins and bears his adaptation.

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Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

Southpaw 3 stars

movie title

Billy Hope is a giant of the boxing ring, who relishes the adoration of the crowd. His adoring wife Maureen pleads with him to hang up his boxing gloves for good so he can spend more time with his young daughter, Leila. Billy accedes but then tragedy strikes and Leila is taken away by the courts from Billy, who sinks into a mire of alcohol-sodden self-pity and despair.

  • GenreAction, Drama, Romance, Thriller
  • CastRachel McAdams, Jake Gyllenhaal, 50 Cent, Forest Whitaker, Oona Laurence.
  • DirectorAntoine Fuqua.
  • WriterKurt Sutter.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration124 mins
  • Official sitewww.facebook.com/SouthpawMovie
  • Release24/07/2015

Feted by some sports commentators as the greatest boxer of all time, Sugar Ray Robinson possessed one unshakable quality that gave him an edge over his opponents. "To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will," he insisted.

Director Antoine Fuqua, screenwriter Kurt Sutter and leading man Jake Gyllenhaal clearly believe in their hard-slugging sports drama about a one-time boxing legend, who hits the comeback trail in order to win back the custody of his young daughter.

Fuqua orchestrates testosterone-fuelled skirmishes inside the ring with brio, Sutter trades verbal blows with his snappy dialogue and Gyllenhaal trained intensively for six months with fight choreographer Terry Claybon to replicate the muscular physicality and snarling mentality of a light heavyweight.

Ironically, for a film that packs a wallop during briskly edited bouts, Southpaw delivers only a few light jabs to our heart strings, almost all of which are landed by 12-year-old actress Oona Laurence. At 124 minutes, Fuqua's cliche-riddled contender expects us to go 12 rounds with training montages and a euphoric Eminem soundtrack before the obligatory final showdown of brawn over brains.

Billy Hope (Gyllenhaal) is a giant of the boxing ring, who celebrates retaining his championship belt with his wife Maureen (Rachel McAdams) and precocious daughter Leila (Laurence). The girl begs to be allowed to watch her father's fights. "I see stuff like that on the TV all the time," she pleads. "I watch The Walking Dead."

Maureen becomes concerned about the toll on her husband's body and pleads with him to hang up his boxing gloves for good, which doesn't impress Billy's lifelong manager, Jordan Mains (Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson).

Tragedy strikes and Leila is wrested away from Billy by the courts after he sinks into a mire of alcohol-sodden despair. In order to reunite his fractured family, Billy must prove to child services officer Angela Rivera (Naomie Harris) that he can be a responsible parent.

To earn enough money to provide a home for Leila, Billy heads back into the boxing ring to fight his nemesis, Miguel "Magic" Escobar (Miguel Gomez). Thus the underdog begins the slow and painful journey back to peak physical fitness with the help of old school trainer Tick Willis (Forest Whitaker).

Southpaw is a rousing parable of triumph over adversity that won't knock out any fans of The Champ, Rocky and other displays of pugilistic big screen machismo. Gyllenhaal looks in peak physical shape, but mumbles his lines, some of which are incomprehensible.

McAdams illuminates her limited scenes while Laurence proves she can cry on cue like a leaky tap. Jackson plays his role with swagger, echoing the capitalist interests of modern sport when his bling-laden promoter grins, "If it makes money, it makes sense." Money talks, if only Gyllenhaal did more clearly.

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Wednesday 29th July 2015
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Ted 2 2 stars

movie title

John has divorced Lori and Ted is poised to walk down the aisle with his sweetheart, a checkout girl called Tami-Lynn. Then disaster strikes. The state of Massachusetts decrees that a teddy bear is a piece of property not a person so Ted is stripped of his marriage certificate, job and identity. Consequently, Ted and John head into the courtroom with civil rights attorney Samantha L Jackson to argue that Ted is alive and deserves his rights.

  • GenreComedy, Romance
  • CastMark Wahlberg, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried, Seth MacFarlane, Jessica Barth.
  • DirectorSeth MacFarlane.
  • WriterAlec Sulkin, Seth MacFarlane, Wellesley Wild.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration116 mins
  • Official sitewww.ted2.co.uk
  • Release08/07/2015

In 2012, writer-director Seth MacFarlane's mismatched buddy comedy Ted was a surprise hit. Man's best friend wasn't a dog after all - it was a potty-mouthed, talking teddy with a penchant for beer, bongs and scantily clad ladies. Sadly, the bear necessities of modern life don't stretch to a second film because Ted 2 is padded with as much fluff as the huggable hero.

The sequel is a vast improvement on MacFarlane's previous film, A Million Ways To Die In The West, but even root canal treatment would be preferable to a repeat viewing of that tumbleweed spoof. The sweetness and romance, which distinguished the original Ted, have been diluted to the point of blandness here and a climactic set piece at a pop culture convention is an unsightly mess.

Direction plods without any urgency and politically incorrect, gross-out interludes are laced with malice. Between the frequent yawns, MacFarlane conjures moments of magic - new love interest Amanda Seyfried's a cappella rendition of Mean Ol' Moon; a bizarre yet hilarious cameo by Liam Neeson - but these are fleeting.

Ted 2 opens with John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) divorced from Lori (Mila Kunis) and fur ball companion Ted (voiced by McFarlane) poised to walk down the aisle with a brassy checkout girl called Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). One year later, the honeymoon is over and Ted and Tami-Lynn are arguing incessantly.

Ted's supermarket co-worker (Cocoa Brown) passes on a nugget of her wisdom: "You better have a baby or your marriage is over". The bear lacks the necessary appendage to impregnate Tami-Lynn, so he hatches a plot to steal the sperm of American football legend Tom Brady (playing himself).

The bear-brained scheme misfires and Ted and Tami-Lynn approach an adoption agency. Their application is red flagged because the state of Massachusetts recognises Ted as a piece of property not a person. Soon after, the bear loses his job and the marriage is annulled.

"We take this all the way to Judge Judy if we have to," bellows John and the pals head to court with idealistic attorney Samantha L Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) to uphold Ted's civil rights.

Ted 2 runs on empty in terms of originality, relying entirely on our affection for the characters to sustain interest. Wahlberg trades lacklustre banter with his computer-generated pal and there's an absence of on-screen chemistry with Seyfried.

A running gag about her facial similarity to a character from The Lord Of The Rings develops a stitch before its punchline, while fleeting appearances from John's gay co-worker (Patrick Warburton) and his boyfriend (Michael Dorn) are superfluous.

At a critical juncture in the court case, Ted activates the voicebox in his chest and sweetly trills, "I love you!" Regrettably, it's impossible to feel similarly enamoured with MacFarlane's sequel.

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Wednesday 29th July 2015
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Terminator Genisys 2 stars

movie title

In the aftermath of judgment day, rebel leader John Connor hopes to give humanity a fighting chance by sending his friend Kyle Reese back in time to 1986 to protect his helpless mother Sarah from a shape-shifting Terminator. When Kyle finally catches up with Sarah, he discovers that he is in an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a well-honed fighting machine, who already has protection: an ageing T-800 model Terminator.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Science Fiction, Thriller
  • CastJai Courtney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Byung-hun Lee, Jason Clarke, JK Simmons.
  • DirectorAlan Taylor.
  • WriterPatrick Lussier, Laeta Kalogridis.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration126 mins
  • Official sitewww.terminatormovie.com
  • Release02/07/2015

In Terminator Genisys, the misfiring reboot of James Cameron's apocalyptic time-travelling saga, Arnold Schwarzenegger's cyborg assassin repeatedly references his advancing years in a dystopian world of young pretenders. "I'm old, not obsolete," he deadpans in that distinctive Teutonic growl. Alas, both the hulking Austrian action man and the blockbusting franchise are ready for the scrapheap.

Millions of dollars of special effects, some of them workmanlike, cannot disguise the fried circuitry of Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier's script, which is hard-wired with the muddled concept of alternate universes to explain the tweaks to this reimagined origin story.

Released in 1984, The Terminator tapped into timely concerns about nuclear warfare to explore a bleak future in which machines have rebelled against mankind and rendered our species almost obsolete. Terminator Genisys follows a similarly gloomy trajectory.

In the aftermath of judgment day, the last vestiges of mankind face complete extinction at the hands of the automata. Rebel leader John Connor (Jason Clarke) leads the charge in 2029 Los Angeles, flanked by best friend Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney).

"You gave us all a future, John. I'm going to use mine," proudly declares Kyle, who volunteers to venture back to 1984 to protect John's mother Sarah (Emilia Clarke) from a shape-shifting T-1000 (Byung-hun Lee).

When Kyle arrives, he discovers that he has gatecrashed an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a ballsy warrior, who already has a protector: an ageing T-800 (Schwarzenegger), which she refers to affectionately as "pops".

Sarah, Kyle and the T-800 launch an assault on Cyberdyne Systems run by Miles Dyson (Courtney B Vance) and his son Danny (Dayo Okeniyi), who will unwittingly give birth to Skynet and bring about mankind's downfall. However, someone knows they are coming.

Terminator Genisys attempts to mimic Jurassic World by exploiting our nostalgia, but Alan Taylor's picture has neither the jaw-dropping thrills nor the wry humour of the rampaging dinosaurs. The multiple timelines become a tangled, knotty mess before the two hours are up, making us wish that Skynet had, in an alternate universe, infected the scriptwriters' computers with a virus and wiped this film from their hard drives.

Action sequences feel second-hand: duels between different model Terminators were choreographed with more flair in previous films and the culmination to a chase across the Golden Gate Bridge whiffs of The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

Faltering comic relief arrives in the form of JK Simmons' veteran LAPD detective, who is rescued by Sarah and Kyle in 1984 and drives his colleagues mad with far-fetched stories of killer robots.

"We're here to stop the end of the world," Sarah tells him.
"I can work with that," grins the detective.
Unfortunately, we can't work with Taylor's reboot. The end - including an additional scene secreted in the credits - can't come soon enough.

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Wednesday 29th July 2015

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The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water 3 stars

movie title

SpongeBob continues to work in the Krusty Krab diner, run by the irrepressible Eugene Krabs, where he is custodian of the secret recipe of the Krabby Patty, which is coveted by rival Plankton. Following a fight between the fast food moguls, the recipe vanishes. Bikini Bottom teeters on the brink of apocalypse and everyone blames Plankton. However, SpongeBob senses that dark forces are at play and it transpires that a greedy pirate called Burger Beard has stolen the recipe using a magical book.

  • GenreAdventure, Animation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastTom Kenny, Bill Fagerbakke, Antonio Banderas, Rodger Bumpass, Clancy Brown.
  • DirectorPaul Tibbitt.
  • WriterJonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration92 mins
  • Official sitewww.squarepantsmovie.co.uk
  • Release27/03/2015

In the pantheon of animated films about absorbent bathroom products dressed in pleasingly geometric undergarments, The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie stands tall. The 2004 feature film was a guilty pleasure, retaining all of the madcap charm and childish exuberance of the Nickelodeon cartoon series created by Stephen Hillenburg.

More than a decade later, SpongeBob and the residents of the underwater community of Bikini Bottom hit dry land in this deranged sequel, which splices colourful animation and live action.

Familiarity with the TV incarnation certainly helps because at its worst, Glenn Berger and Jonathan Aibel's script is a psychedelic mess that defies reasoning. For every trippy interlude, The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water also delights with its unabashed exuberance and irreverence, cramming in all of the familiar characters plus a flock of seagulls to squawk the infectious theme tune: "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants! Absorbent and yellow and porous is he? SpongeBob SquarePants..."

Parents with a low threshold to boundless good cheer should prepare for a very long 93 minutes. SpongeBob (voiced by Tom Kenny) flips burgers in a diner run by the irrepressible Eugene Krabs (Clancy Brown), where he is custodian of the secret recipe of the Krabby Patty.

Arch rival Plankton (Doug Lawrence) attempts to steal the list of ingredients, but the recipe vanishes into thin air. In the absence of the famed Krabby Patty, Bikini Bottom teeters on the brink of apocalypse. "The sandwich gods are angry at us," screams scuba-diving squirrel Sandy (Carolyn Lawrence).

Everyone blames Plankton but SpongeBob knows he is innocent. It transpires that a greedy pirate called Burger Beard (Antonio Banderas) has stolen the recipe using a magical book, which allows the salty seadog to rewrite history.

Plankton joins forces with his computer wife Karen (Jill Talley) to create a time machine to erase Burger Beard's meddling, but the plan fails. Unable to restore balance from beneath the waves, SpongeBob, loyal starfish pal Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke), Mr Krabs, Sandy and curmudgeonly Squidward Tentacles (Rodger Bumpass) venture onto dry land to defeat the pilfering pirate.

Burger Beard is armed to the teeth, so SpongeBob and co use the magical book to adopt superhero identities to defeat their nemesis.

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water doesn't quite match the pure entertainment of the first film but it comes close. However, a protracted sequence involving a time-travelling dolphin called Bubbles (Matt Berry) is perhaps a hallucinogenic trip too far. Banderas appears to be having a ball as the hirsute antagonist, who has always dreamt of running his own burger bar.

Vocal performances are as lively as the animation, accompanied by a jaunty soundtrack including one upbeat song with the lyrics: "It's better when you and me equals we/Working together in harmony."

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Wednesday 29th July 2015
Thursday 30th July 2015

Thomas & Friends: Sodor's Legend Of The Lost Treasure 3 stars

Thomas and his engine pals Ryan, Gordon, Toby and the Scottish twins Douglas and Donald discover an old pirate ship. This leads to the startling realisation that there is lost treasure on the magical island of Sodor. Thomas and co find themselves in a race against time to track down the precious booty before salty sea dog Sailor John gets his paws on the lost treasure and spirits it away in his trusted sail boat Skiff.

  • GenreAdventure, Animation/Cartoon, Children, Children's
  • CastEddie Redmayne, John Hurt, Jamie Campbell Bower, Nathan Clarke.
  • DirectorDavid Stoten.
  • CountryUK
  • Duration63 mins
  • Official sitewww.thomasandfriends.com
  • Release17/07/2015 (selected cinemas)

Screening in cinemas for a limited time to coincide with the 70th anniversary of Thomas The Tank Engine, this feature-length computer-animated adventure follows the plucky blue locomotive and his pals as they embark on a thrilling quest. Thomas (voiced by John Hasler) and his engine pals Ryan (Eddie Redmayne), Gordon (Keith Wickham), Toby (Rob Rackstraw) and the Scottish twins Douglas and Donald (Joe Mills) discover an old pirate ship. This leads to the startling realisation that there is lost treasure on the magical island of Sodor. Thomas and co find themselves in a race against time to track down the precious booty before salty sea dog Sailor John (John Hurt) gets his paws on the lost treasure and spirits it away in his trusted sail boat Skiff (Jamie Campbell Bower).

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Wednesday 29th July 2015
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